May we take a moment to have a think about the likely outcome here? There is a good chance Teagan may never see me alive. I honestly don't see how I can face two simultaneous horrors worse than death itself every single day for the nine years required. Those horrors are of course the loss of every day of the childhood of my only child and the threat of the cluster headache condition. I concede that my physical health is deteriorating at a rate that wont last nine years. I concede further that I generally lost at life too, especially the housing game, and am trapped in an unhealthy flat with not enough light to keep the cluster headache threat at bay.

I accept that all the good years, such that they were, are behind me now, and only suffering lies in wait. The advantage of having failed on all fronts is that old age is something I will not have to face. That's just the facts of life, the cut of natural selection some might say.

While on the one hand, at first sight this would seem to be exactly what the Wieland family would want to see, remember that for me, the suffering would be over. It would be your suffering which would be about to begin.

Enough people now know the story of what happened, and enough contingency plans are in place to make certain this is the case, that should you get what you wish for, Teagan will find out that the only Dad she will ever have, had been permanently excluded from her for no real reason other than selfish spite. I am terrified at the prospect of my dearest Teagan having to carry this nightmare of unanswerable questions for decades to come. And who will she blame and hold responsible for all those years? It can't be me. How could you possibly want such an outcome for an innocent little girl?

Realising this, I do of course want to stay alive so that my poor girl is never burdened with such grief. I am doing my best to bear the daily burden of living this nightmare, but I have to admit I am losing now, and I am losing quickly. Perhaps even mercifully as it really is too much to bear. It seems there is a limit to the suffering that an ageing man of declining health can withstand. The daily torture of missing my only child's childhood really does weaken me each day. And now on top of this the pressures mount up as Lucy and the authorities weaken me further with their unfathomable cruelty. Which in a strange kind of way, actually limits the amount of time I have left to suffer, which is actually a good thing for me.

So be careful what you wish for, it will probably come true, but for the first time it wouldn't be me paying the price of the cruelty in this story. Try to think of what is Teagan's best interest, as she is the one who has to live with the consequences of what happens for the longest time.

So I beg of you one last time not for my life, but for Teagan's future, for Teagan's best interest, do the right thing and let her know the only Dad she will ever have, even if only for a while. Please don't take something so precious away from her forever.